my favorite things - august 2015

Look at me, writing this post on time! woohoo! The fact that it *is* on time mirrors how life has been lately... i.e. fairly well organized and put together. I've recovered pretty much 100% from the craziness of the summer, and tomorrow I start back with my Fall library routine. I've done this once before, so I can only do it better this time around!

this is my fight song


Dear Reader, I have a confession to make. 
Last week I considered quitting my job. Yes. That job. The one where I'm a children's librarian. The one that I've long dreamed of and worked for and actually miraculously have. 
It was a moment (ok, more like a couple of hours) of panic, in which I was struck with the reality of full-time working state. I did the math and saw 40 hours per week, times 51 weeks come out to 2,040 hours of my life devoted to one single building, one organization, one job. In the short span of my half-lived life, that is a record. I thought of two thousand plus hours and panicked, because with a number as large and grand as that under my belt, surely I should have done some Great Good thing in that time. I panicked because in  flash vision to the possible future, I saw thousands more hours piling up around a self that looked exactly the same as the self I am now.
During my quiet planning hour, I couldn't help but cry a little as I jotted out the hours of my day to come. I spun wheels in my brain, trying to figure out an  escape plan--where I would go, what I would do--all the while, scared of even the escape. After all, look how hard it was to get here. I felt trapped between the fear of growing stagnant and the fear of starting over from scratch. 
But I stuffed both fears away--I had to-- in my back pocket, and started my day. Because that's what you do when you're an adult. 
Then, a funny thing happened. 
As I worked in my space - my cheery yellow-walled children's room - vacuuming and tidying, the simpleness brought me back to a level of calm. Doing work had caused me to remember my heart in all of this. 

my favorite things - july 2015


I realize that August is now well under way, and that I missed June entirely, but if one gave up just because one has failed before... then... why do anything at all?
I'm mulling on a post, which I thought was ready last night, but proved not to be. It needs a little more time. So for the meanwhile, I bring you my favorite things from July: